Every morning I sit down with a double shot of espresso, turn on the TV, and navigate rotely to YouTube. I then proceed to watch at least one video of someone I don’t know getting up at 5am to start an alarmingly elaborate morning routine. Though it doesn’t matter very much who the person is, I am partial to Renee Amberg and Sam Ozkural’s videos for this kind of content, mainly because their channels are the ones that got me into this strange genre of entertainment. It’s definitely a pastime that I would have ruthlessly made fun of in the not-so-distant past. So…why do I do it?
How did I find myself cozying up on the couch with last night’s Costco pizza leftovers to watch these women drink hot lemon water and do early morning workouts clad from head to toe in Gym Shark attire?
Why Me (Or Any of Us)
The YouTube influencers I’m drawn to are mostly those without kids (though now both Amberg and Ozkural do have kids and I still like them). The initial draw is still largely aspirational in a way that I couldn’t imagine being possible with a kid. I suppose I don’t want to watch mommy vloggers detail how they have crafted a perfectly balanced routine for their two to five children, largely because it is sure to make me feel like an inadequate mother to my one two-year-old.
No. I want to see a single 20-something woman perform a ritualistic routine that seems simultaneously out of reach and like something I can strive for.
In other words, here is the appeal in a nutshell: Watch these people do it so you don’t have to! But make no mistake, you will do it one day. One of these days…
They are selling you a fantasy. And with that fantasy comes brand deals that enable them to sell you tangible things. Depending on what your jam is, that could be sheets, health supplements, food delivery services, or even therapy (BetterHelp is a huge sponsor of the influencers that often show up in my feed).
Basically, for me to participate in the endorphin boosting practice of watching these videos, there has to be a willing suspension of disbelief. I know that much of what I am watching is not authentic, and that these women are all competing with each other to give the algorithm what it thinks we want, all while catering their content to sponsors that will pay them the big bucks (I’m looking at you Athletic Greens - that shit is everywhere you click).
These creators also sometimes acknowledge that these Day-in-the-Life videos aren’t typical days. BUT you still want to believe that this kind of harmony could exist in the world, that you could have this level of control over your surroundings and yourself. I, too, can rise at 5am, eat a healthy smoothie, work out, meditate, journal, plan out my entire day, make a matcha latte, and read a chapter of a self-help book, do a 10-step skincare routine followed by hair and makeup, all before 9am, when my actual workday begins.
There is something to this fantasy that one’s life really can include all of this self-care. Make time for yourself. You owe it to yourself. That’s the message, and that is the new pressure we have put on ourselves as women. It’s not enough to have a stable job and take care of your children. If you aren’t fine tuning yourself constantly, then you are letting yourself down.
Lifestyle content on YouTube is like candy for our brains. And that candy is doled out by an algorithm that knows what you want, from the inoffensive color palette of an influencer’s living room furniture to the just-out-of-reach price point of their skincare brands of choice. And the people making the candy are always tweaking the recipe just enough to keep you wanting more.
What Lifestyle YouTubers Have in Common
Hauls - You will watch these women open up boxes from Amazon, plus businesses that have sponsored their videos. There is also the subgenre of haul videos where you get to see what they bought from the grocery store. Bonus points if it’s from Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s.
Get ready with me - As they go through their skincare, makeup, and hair routine, they will chat to you about what’s been on their minds about their personal lives. These types of videos are the glue that holds your parasocial relationship with this person together.
What I eat in a day - These will often come with a trigger warning at the beginning, and for good reason. Even when the influencer is eating wholesome, nutritious food with an adequate calorie count, the thinness that we see associated with their “mindful choices” can trigger feelings of inadequacy that surely affect the mental health of many who struggle with disordered eating.
Getting up early AF - There’s definitely a trend that pegs getting up earlier than 7am as the almost morally superior choice. And if you are going to check off all those self-care to-dos, you probably better get up as early as humanly possible.
Workouts - One of my favorite things to do is watch someone work out while I eat Frosted Mini Wheats on the couch.
Night Time Routines - You’ve watched them get ready, but you should also check out how they gear down for the night. It usually involves a bath, a face mask, cooking a healthy-yet-delicious meal for their family, then watching their favorite TV show with their partner. Such work-life balance!
Intellectual self-care: Find out what they’re reading, listening to, and viewing.
Spiritual: Whether they are a Christian content creator or a woo-woo believer in crystals and manifestation, you will likely hear how they work it into their routine in the context of JOURNALING. So. Much. Early morning journaling.
Days and nights out videos are notably brief, somewhat rare, and usually very general. I suspect that these lifestyle videos probably don’t rank as high for many channels.
At their core, most lifestyle influencers are promoting productivity. It is the end goal of all of these pursuits. Strive to be your best self so that you can optimize your life, be productive as possible and do it all. Peppered with product placements and sponsorship deals, each of these videos are love letters to consumerism, and we can’t get enough, baby.
It might be clear to you at this point that there’s a lot to unpack here, from the ubiquitous white/greige color schemes in these videos to the fact that so many of these creators move from coast to coast to boost their viewership. Both Amberg and Ozkural have made similar moves, and they are far from the only ones. Amberg even acknowledges in one of her NYC videos that she moved there because she thought it would help her channel. Living there made her miserable, but it did, in fact, boost her viewership.
These women are making bank, seemingly from living their best lives. Key word: seemingly. Read this recent article from The New York Times, “Is there Life After Influencing?” to learn just how all-consuming it is to view every mundane detail of your daily routine as Content. What these work-from-home entrepreneurs are selling is freedom, but the truth is, it is anything but.
Not only that, but the wellness industry is capitalizing on women’s discontent through such content. If you’re interested in that topic, check out The Gospel of Wellness by journalist Rina Raphael, who takes a deep dive into what draws us to extremes in maintaining our “wellness,” a word that so unfortunately is code for our “thinness.”
Am I Still Watching?
Parts of this blog probably come off as scathing, but I do still watch videos by both Amberg and Ozkural, along with other content creators who I legitimately love. If you can separate the highly curated videos from the probable reality of these women’s everyday lives, there are actually very helpful cooking tips, book recommendations, makeup tutorials and more. BUT. I do stay mindful of how many of these lifestyle videos I allow to enter my brain. I likened it to candy earlier. A little is fine, but too much of it will rot your brain. My tip? If you’re on a YouTube kick, balance out these aspirational (cough, unattainable) lifestyle videos with some of the amazing travel content (I love Kara and Nate), pop culture commentary (one of my favorites is The Take), and even PBS Newshour, all of which have plentiful content that won’t leave you feeling that you need to do 100 different things to be a whole, complete person.
Have some thoughts on this topic? Want to share what you like to watch on YouTube? Comment and let’s chat!
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